


Something I forgot

by Canadian_nights



Series: What if... [2]
Category: Cardinal (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27611504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canadian_nights/pseuds/Canadian_nights
Summary: What happens after they say goodbye in the final episode? How does John cope with the reality of losing his partner?It's going to be a little angsty because it is catching! But mainly fluffy and soppy because I just need happy fluff right about now...oh and just a little smut (wet john smut to be precise)At least we can always count on Kelly to save the day.
Relationships: John Cardinal & Lise Delorme, John Cardinal/Lise Delorme
Series: What if... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009680
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Something I forgot

**Author's Note:**

> I will publish the ending of Mr and Mrs Cardinal honest!! But I couldn't get this out of my head in my sleep deprived state and figured that someone might enjoy to read it. I hope you do x

It was a long walk to reach her through the crunching snow and all his mind could think was how impossibly beautiful Lise was. Her hair, newly cut, was now short and straight, framing her delicate face where the biting cold had brought a rosy glow to her alabaster skin. She was smiling at him warmly and he couldn’t quite find where to look. The devastating realisation that she was leaving Algonquin bay was so final in this moment but tinged with the hope that she wasn't leaving him. A hope which he was forcing himself to cling desperately to, like a life raft in a freezing ocean, in the full knowledge that he really would drown if he let go. This woman standing in front of him had become his entire world and he had to keep her in his life. 

“You think you’ll make it back up soon?” The hope in his voice palpable, finally forcing himself to hold her gaze, probing keenly for her response. 

“I don’t know. Maybe better if you come down?” 

There was a lightness in her eyes, and a lilt in her voice that John needed to feel optimism from. An invitation, he hoped, that she was once again leaving the door open for him to walk through.

“You’ll let me know when’s good?” 

It was better that he left it in her court, not trusting himself still to make the right decisions for what she needed. 

“Yeah.” 

He could see the same sadness that he felt, in his aching heart, reflected back at him in her face as her smile failed to hide a deeply buried sorrow and her eyes shone with unshed tears. God this was tearing him apart. She had to go, live her life and achieve what she was so worthy of, in the bright lights of the big city. He had lived that life once and now it was her time. It was the right decision for her, still in her 30’s she had so much she needed to accomplish, he couldn’t stop her. That would be wrong and selfish. It didn’t make it any easier that he had come to accept this reality, his heart silently bleeding from the ferocity of what was being ripped away from him and what he couldn’t say. 

Their embrace was everything they couldn’t put into words. Squeezing tightly together, both terrified that maybe this would be the last time they would be in this moment and the tears finally spilled from Lise’s eyes. The irony of the distant siren not lost on either. Somehow the job; which had sewn them together in a partnership of minds and souls, creating that formidable force that surged between them long before their friendship found its way here, to an emotional and physical connection neither had ever experienced or knew what to do with - was now what was tearing them painfully apart. 

*****

It had been a terrible few days for John since he had hugged Lise and let her go. Dyson had sucked him into a new case, so gruesome that his stomach had flipped when he had seen the mutilated, decomposed body in the dark of the tunnel. The sight and smell invoking a visceral response in his vulnerable body, so on edge and psychologically broken in that moment that he was the closest he had been to passing out since he was a rookie. He knew full well that he shouldn’t have agreed to come back so soon. He needed time, he needed to think, but thinking was so bloody painful and Dyson needed him just as much as he needed to be busy. 

The real reason he was feeling so sorry for himself was that he hadn’t heard from Lise since she had sent him a single line message to say that she had arrived safely. There was no warmth or hope of follow up in her text, instead it had been matter of fact and cold and he hated how it had made him crumble. 

It had been just two days and he was already aching for his partner. He thought of calling, but he was rubbish on the phone and in any case Kelly was coming over with dinner and, as he knew full well was the case, to check on her incompetent old man. He had made several very direct attempts to put his daughter off, but she wasn’t having any of it. Whilst a part of him was grateful for the distraction, he also knew he would feel the full force of her opinion on what an idiot he was for not putting up more of a fight for Lise. He really didn’t want to hear it though. Because he sure as hell already knew and it was tearing him apart. 

At least his daughter let them eat first. He was grateful for that small mercy, feeling starving and exhausted he had enjoyed the silence that they had whilst he wolfed down the pizza. Kelly patiently waiting until he had taken his fill before it began.

“I spoke to Lise last night.” 

John couldn’t stop the reflexive frown that formed on hearing that she had spoken to his daughter in favour of him.

“She sounded about as happy as you look right now. I’m not sure what you said or more to the point didn’t say before she left, but she is hurting real bad dad. I don’t even know what to say to you anymore. You are finally building your cottage and you won’t get to share it with the person you really want to. How can you just let someone as incredible as Lise slip through your fingers? You will never get this again you know, someone so smart and beautiful who truly gets you.” 

There was a twinge of sadness at the back of his daughter’s eyes as she said those last words, her mother still so fresh in her mind. 

“I honestly didn’t think I would need to spell it out for you like this but I guess I maybe give you more credit than I should. I’m not a child anymore Dad. I see you together, the way you make each other smile and how close you get without even realising what you are doing - like you get caught in each other’s magnetic field. Honestly, I sometimes don’t know if you are completely blind or maybe just really stupid. Do you not see the way that she looks at you?”

She was riled up now, fixing his gaze with a mix of frustration and poorly concealed anger in her familiar face, so much more grown up now than he had ever seen it.

“You must know that she loves you Dad? She needs to hear you tell her… in actual words, that you love her too. Because I know you do. You don’t need to deny it because you think that it will hurt me. I think I have known how you felt since I saw you talking on the phone when we were clothes shopping in Toronto for your Jane Doe, when I saw your face light up and I thought it was mum because you don’t smile like that for just anybody.”

She was right and it stung to know that his daughter had seen so easily through him and that maybe Catherine had too. 

“Stop beating yourself up and be brave Dad. Because if you don’t then it will all have been for nothing. And I’m not sure I can deal with that, even if you think you can.”

His daughter had been terrifyingly accurate and in his vulnerable state her words had cut him like a knife. It had been like watching a tornado rip through his apartment and now that it was over Kelly deflated like a burst balloon. 

All that was left was a painful silence as they faced each other from across the room and for some reason all John could see was his wife staring at him through his daughter’s identical eyes. 

“I know.” 

It was simple and matter of fact because it was true. He did know. It had taken the finality of Lise physically leaving and the empty void that had opened up in his world for him to finally accept what he needed to do. 

“I’ve told Dyson I need the weekend off. I’m going to Toronto tomorrow night. I will try and make it right Kel. I promise.”

*****

He knew her new address. She had sought his experience of Toronto when she had been looking at apartments to rent and had chosen a small, if a little pricey, place in a neighbourhood he knew was nice and safe and not too far from where she would be working. It had given him a little bit of solace to know that she wanted him involved in at least some of the decisions for her new life, even though it meant that he had to accept that she really was moving away. 

He had spent the first part of the journey down trying to work out what to say when they came face to face. It seemed so much more than 72 hours since he had last seen her smile, smelled her familiar comforting scent and felt her soft body pressed keenly against his own. He never came to a decision though, because the weather took a turn for the worse halfway into the drive, wintery sleet and ice meaning that thankfully most of his concentration was now focused on keeping his car in control in the treacherous darkness. John preferred this distraction, one in which he had physical control, it was infinitely better that than the much scarier alternative of delving into his mind and feelings. 

Because of the conditions it was much later than he had planned when the sat-nav finally directed him to her parking lot. Cutting the engine he thought about calling her cell, but he might bottle it if he did and he was here now, he may as well go for it, there was nothing left to lose. The weather was even worse outside of the warmth of the car, the icy cold rain bouncing off the street and soaking him through his jacket as he hurried to her building. Sheltering in her doorway whilst looking for the right number he glanced back at his watch. It was 11.30. She was probably asleep, he should go get a hotel, come and try again in the morning. Just as he was about to turn on his heel he heard Kelly’s disappointment in his ears. He did ‘need to be brave’ so taking a deep steadying breath he reached out to press her buzzer.

There was no answer and he waited patiently, feeling himself deflate as he tried again without success. Frustration flashing though him his hand swiped out at the metal front door which to his surprise gave way against his palm, opening to let him into the entrance hall of the apartment building. Not sure if he was doing the right thing anymore, he followed the stairs up to the first floor, stopping when he reached the second door on the landing and saw her name engraved on the plaque, his heart starting to hammer in his chest at the reality of what he was doing.

Lise had only just headed to bed when she heard the buzzer, deciding to actively ignore it. She didn’t know anyone in the area so it would be a wrong address and she was too comfortable and sleepy to get up. Then as she was just starting to doze off to sleep the loud thud of an eager knock on her door startled her fully awake. 

John was soaked to the skin, his black hair slicked down against his head, drips of water running down his temple and into his eyebrows. The material of his green parka so saturated that it was almost black, and the soaked wool of his jumper clung enticingly to the contours of his chest. It was his eyes though that she couldn't pull herself away from, pleading desperately to her, as he stood still as a statue with an urgency in his face that made her breath catch in her throat.

“John! Wh-what are you doing here?” She was almost stammering the surprise so great, her own eyes trying to decipher the look on his face.

“I…I realised I forgot something Lise.” His voice was hoarse and low, so gravelly that she almost felt it resonate in her tight chest.

In that moment he decided what he needed to do, and it didn’t involve speaking.

Lise watched his huge frame as he stepped across the threshold of her apartment and into her space, his big wet hands gripping tightly around her waist as he held her gaze and bent down hurriedly to kiss her. He was urgent and desperate in his kiss too, his wet cold lips sending a shiver through her body as he pulled her tighter against him until she was soaked through too. 

A big part of her was convinced that she must be dreaming, as she heard the door slam behind him, ‘John Cardinal didn’t take control and kiss like this. Did he?’

This wasn’t exactly what he had planned, he was going to try so hard to use words and explain himself. Something about the way she was looking at him though, when she opened the door, those brown seductive eyes gazing into a part of him that only she could see, along with how badly he had missed her meant that he couldn’t stop himself. The fact that she was barely dressed, her slender legs pale and beautiful underneath the loose t-shirt she was wearing only heightening his desire.

“John.” Her voice breathless and getting lost in his hot probing mouth.

“I need you Lise. I need you more than I ever realised.”

Then his hands were exploring, blindly roaming down the thin damp cotton material until he found her naked skin, so soft and warm that his rough cool palms were tingling. Frustrated at the lack of leverage he had to press more of her supple body against his own, he had been easing her backwards until the wall stopped their motion and he could finally crush himself fully against her. Releasing her lips he buried his face into her neck, inhaling her sweet comforting smell as his urgent lips tasted their way down to her collarbone. 

It had been all John for too long and now Lise was coming alive, the initial shock replaced with pure desire. Somehow between them they had already removed his jacket and top layers so that her fingers could run though the fine hairs of his chest, his rapid heart beat palpable under her fingertips. Sliding her hands up to tangle in the soft thick hair of his nape she guided his face back to her own so that she could taste him again. The sensation of his rough, tickling beard a wonderful contrast to the smooth, soft lips that were dancing with her own, his tongue searching impatiently again to explore her more deeply, his taste so intoxicating that she couldn’t refuse his probing. When her hands found their way to his delicious taut ass, she couldn’t stop the urge to pull him tighter against her. Flush like this, Lise could feel the full force of his desire, hard and hot against her abdomen as he groaned into her mouth. 

Whatever self control Lise had been wrestling with evaporated in that moment and she suddenly needed all of him, rough and hard and here in her hallway. Clumsily her urgent fingers managed to find a way to remove the last of his clothes as he palmed roughly at her breasts under her t-shirt. The coarseness of his skin against her sensitive, delicate flesh combined with his eager, awkward urgency was almost enough to push her over the edge. 

“Gah John I need you now. Here.”

Her words almost sucked all the air out of his lungs, his desire for her in this moment already painful. Then she slid her panties down her legs seductively, his mouth dry and his erection straining at how desperately he wanted and needed to be buried in her warmth. 

Their union was rushed and ungainly, achieving its purpose within minutes as they came hard together, Lise more vocally than John, before slumping in a satiated mess of entangled limbs, panting hard and shakily relying on their connected bodies for support. 

When the burning desire faded, they realised how cold it was in the hallway and Lise led them through to the heat of her bed, abandoning the wet remnants of their clothes where they fell. Slipping their naked, spent bodies into the warm cosy bed wasn’t quite enough comfort though and John pulled her soft body into his own, his fingers tracing delicate circles at the curve of her lower back. In this moment all of his worries had slipped away, his mind now as clear as it had ever been. Having Lise wrapped in his arms, breathing in unison as her face snuggled into the indent under his chin, this was what home felt like for John. 

“God I’ve missed you Lise.” There was a wistful softness to his voice that she wasn’t sure she had heard before. “Kelly brought it to my attention that I might not have expressed myself very well to you.”

Stopping the attentions of his fingers on her back, he let them slide up the cool skin of her side until they were tangled in her soft, silky hair. Gently easing her face up so that he could see her face when he spoke. He needed her to witness the honesty and emotion of what he felt, but before he could even start speaking again, he found himself starting to get lost in the dark expressive depths of her eyes. The effect she had on him was mesmerising! Forcefully pulling himself together he gently kissed her delicate nose before continuing.

“I Love you Lise. For your mind and your strength of spirit but mostly because you see all of me, like nobody ever has and you make me feel whole. You are my life Lise and I really don’t want to do it without you. I just thought… I thought you knew but maybe I wasn’t as clear as I should have been.”

“I did know John. I do know. I just really needed you to tell me mon amour.”

The relief of finally verbalising the unfathomable connection that had surged between them for so long, was overwhelming. It wasn’t going to be easy, geographically at least, but it would be worth it. Lise knew in her heart that he wouldn’t be building that beautiful cottage by the lake just for one.

**Author's Note:**

> I really need to get a new record that doesn't read... and they lived happily ever after haha! I just live for fluff though and the rest of the world remains very deprived of happiness still. 
> 
> On a cheery note when does it become fair game to go full Christmas and do any of you lovely people have any thoughts on themes???


End file.
